MATILDA

Beauty is as beauty does.

That's what the sages claim,

And men ignore it to their shame,

Sure as a peach has fuzz!

But there's a girl who holds a place in my life,

And though she's homely as sin,

I keep going back to her time and again.

It sure does baffle my wife!

Her nose is pug and square as a box is,

And "undershot" ain't half o' the truth.

She's brown and lumpy as an old Baby Ruth,

And her ears stick up like a fox's.

When I cuddle her close with my head on her butt,

And she bucks against my face,

I think she's the fairest of all of her race.

By now you're sure I'm a nut!

Her family's from green, soggy Britain,

Her branch from pithy Australia,

And another from pagan old India.

For a tart, she's quite cosmopolitan!

Her beauty she keeps to herself, you see.

Not everyone's given a peek.

She won't submit to the phony or weak,

But only the proud and the free.

Once the companion of rich men and bums -

Handled by millions of men -

From Flanders to the Falklands and then

To my humble apartment she comes.

And resting at last in my arms,

Still ready to work for her wages.

Her beauty a thing for the ages,

Matilda exposes her charms.

Wess Rodgers

22 March, 2001